Hey guys! A lot of people are wondering about my anime life and this is a bit of it that still makes me cry myself to sleep sometimes X'D
Now here's the story:
In September 2012, I got my first boyfriend. You guys remember how a while ago I told you all about that one guy who I threw a tissue packet at. Yeah, same guy. You know how he asked me out? It was after a club meeting and we walked out together with my two best friends WHO DECIDED OH OKAY LETS RUN AWAY AND LEAVE POOR KAI ALONE WITH HER CRUSH and we walked awkwardly to where I ate lunch and he's like "Will you be my girlfriend?" In the most awkward way possible and of course I said yes THEN HE GAVE ME A FREAKING HIGH FIVE SO IM LIKE yo dude you should like hug your girlfriend and we hugged BUT THE KID DOESNT KNOW HOW TO HUG LIKE WHAT so a few days later (cause I'm mean and our relationship was one of the weirdest ones ever) I sent him a wikihow on how to hug because I'm hella funny X'D. He read it (yes omfg) and oh my god the next few days those hugging skills were the bomb dot com HE EVEN FREAKING PICKED ME UP AND TWIRLED ME ONCE LIKE THIS KID OMG We have the most precious, innocent, and loving relationship ever... But of course, my fucking life is that great (go anime life woo!) and another guy came to play. He was my best friend at the time and a month into my relationship, he gets fucking jealous. FUCKING JEALOUS. That I didn't spend time with him because I got a boyfriend. But I was in the happiest relationship of my life, couldn't he be fucking happy for me? NOPE NOPE NOPE. I cherish my friends more than anything in the world. And he's like "wow I can't believe you like your boyfriend more than you like your best friend." Like honestly, I fucking hate this kid now and we don't even talk anymore ILL TELL YOU GUYS WHY SOON. Anyways, this kind of talk went on for weeks and I really love my friends and if my love life was getting in the way of "friend time" well fuck what the hell am I supposed to do. So on a fucking whim, yes, a whim, I had planned it, but I didn't want to do it, BUT I DID IT. I broke up with the love of my life because I cherished friendship. I gave up so much for my friends... Especially my best friend at the time. Guess how I got repaid for that. Yep. My best friend had a girlfriend who wasn't paying attention to him and now she started caring for him again so he put her over me. What a fucking hypocrite. HE FUCKING USED ME BECAUSE HIS GF WASNT PAYING ATTENTION TO HIM THEN HE TOSSES ME AWAY WHEN SHE CARES LIKE FUCK YOU OKAY SHIT I MADE SO MANY SACRIFICES TO KEEP YOU FUCKING HAPPY AND YOU TREAT ME LIKE THIS SOME FRIEND YOU ARE ASSHOLE BYE
In my sophomore year, I lost the love of my life and someone I thought was my best friend. I don't care about the friend. He can go die in a hole whatever. But I broke up with the love of my life. I have still loved him since the day we met til now.
Now before some people who read this say OH MY GOD KAI JUST GET OVER HIM YOURE SO STUPID FOR LOVING YOUR EX STILL um one, fuck you you don't know my life gtfo why are you even reading this if you aren't gonna be supportive and two I ALREADY FUCKING TRIED OKAY.
Summer of 2013, I got a boyfriend. We dated from May to August. It was a wonderful relationship, but I loved him too much. Then when it ended, I realized, I never loved him at all. It was just that I had been suppressing my love for my ex for so long that I had to let it out, even it if was to love someone else who I didn't. He broke up with me and I'm happy he did because I couldn't stay in that relationship knowing I didn't actually love him. That's when I realized what love really is.
Guys, listen to me, I figured out how to truly love someone for every part of them. I found out that love is about how much you care for a person, no matter who they are, if you care about a person, you love them.
My first love will always be my crush and I hope he's my last love. I love him so much guys that I'm actually crying while I write this post. I'm so deeply in love with him. I'd hold him in my arms and never let go. I would hug him until the end of time, just let me hug him one more time please. Love hurts. But it's a good kind of hurt. Like one that tells you to keep fighting on. I'm still fighting for you, my love. I don't care how long it takes. I'll be with you again someday. I will. I promise.
And that's Kai's sad love story. I hate my life.
Til Next Time,
Kai
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